"What Matters Most, Living a More Considered Life" by James Hollis PhD

Chapter Four - "That We Respect the Power of Eros"

This chapter seemed to be about considering that there are internal forces at odds that may influence your behaviors.  These should not be ignored, but acknowledged in case they interfere with decision making in a way that is not helpful.

Chapter Five - "That We Step Into Largeness"

This chapter was about being bold enough to do the things your soul has always wanted to do, and becoming the person you should be.  In this way, you are making the world better at the same time, so a bigger purpose is at stake.  The demons of fear and reduction are the only things holding you back.  There are lots of people who do this every day, and even if they live good lives or help others, it doesn't always mean they are serving the soul's purpose, nor does it mean they are doing what they truly want to do in life.

Chapter Six - "That We Risk Growth Over Security"

"In the end, I taught you to be more comfortable in your uncertainty.  This acceptance of ambiguity will better lead you to a more developmental agenda, a mystery-driven life, than 'certainty' ever would."

Chapter Seven - "That We Live Verbs, Not Nouns"

Hollis makes points here that we should allow our egos to be malleable, like clay, and always be willing to change and embrace change and growth as it comes.  Our complexes will change over time and we should allow for that and be conscious of it while always moving forward.

Chapter Eight - "That We Find and Follow the Path of Creativity and Delight Foolish Passions"

We should entertain our optimistic and creative thoughts of nostalgia and other thoughts every so often when growing up and becoming wiser sometimes tarnishes them.  Age and knowing better is not always the best answer when memories and creative thoughts make us happy.

Chapter Nine - "That We Engage Spiritual Crisis and Other Bad Days at the Office"

Often we find ourselves, usually against our will, upset and realize that there is an enlargement of the spirit, made possible through suffering and humility, but it is still enlargement, nonetheless.  The death of our myth and what we often hold true is the beginning of a new stage, or the next in our journey.  We revise our values, find ourselves in new places, and will be larger because of this process.

This is what many have referred to as surrendering to the circumstance, or whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger, etc.  Some things you cannot change, so the serenity to accept them and to be open to them is for the best.

Chapter Ten - "That We Write Our Story, Lest Someone Else Write It for Us"

"What matters is that we become who we are, really are.  Personhood is not a gift; it is a continuing struggle; the gift is attained later, and only from living a mindful journey where, prompted by an inner summons, we write our story at last."

Chapter Eleven - "Amor Fati: That We Fight Fate, and Love It Also"

This is the climax of the book, who knew there would be one in a self-help book?  Anyway, the first half is to get us to acknowledge the internal voices and complexes that are at play in our lives, and the second half is to get us to figure out how we want to control those forces and deciding how we want to proceed in our lives.  This chapter focuses on fate being only part of the issue at hand, and how we have more control over the situation than we want to believe, once we get the big picture.  While our parents gave us all sorts of demands, things to live up to in our lives, that is not necessarily what we want in our lives, and that is okay.  They are just trying to live the lives they wanted, through us.  We need to do the things that please our souls and stop worrying about the complexes handed down from generations before us.  Is this just telling us to rebel, or rationalizing for people who feel they're living horrible lives?

Chapter Twelve - "That We Live More Fully in the Shadow of Mortality"

"We are living longer and longer as a species, but in service to what?"  Unless you are true to yourself, you can achieve everything you want in life and still be miserable.  You must look deeper and do what you truly desire.  Man too often thinks about the after life and what is coming in the next one, but what about this one, here and today?

Chapter Thirteen - "That We Accept At Last That Our Home Is Our Journey, and Our Journey Is Our Home"

"The agenda of the first half of life is forged from suffering demands of all kinds and responding to the blows, challenges, and the seductions of life, while the second half of life has more to do with wrestling with the aftermath: guilt, anger, recrimination, regret, recovery, and the possibility of forgiveness of self and others.  The former is one kind of struggle - mostly with the world - and the latter is mostly with ourselves and the questions of transcendent meaning that continue to perturb us."

REVIEW:

I thought this was a good book, in that it really made me think inwardly about how different people, thoughts, experiences, etc. affect me.  In the end, it is me who allows them to affect me- or not.  It is something that should be more conscious when making decisions.  This is a test of being mindful and also a test of will power.  I really enjoyed this book and how it challenged the structures I had set up in my life.